It’s about you. Talk and laugh over the pourer – your buddy’s story about getting laid last night is way funnier than some crap about what grapes make this wine, or how they blah, blah, blah.
Me first. Stick your glass right in the pourer’s face to be sure to get your glass filled before everyone else. Tell him, “Less talky, more boozy, buddy”.
Waiting’s for losers. Reach your glass over the heads or through the shoulders of the people at the table. Just because they waited their turn doesn’t mean you have to, they’re only listening to the pourer’s boring story about the wine anyway. It’s Malbec from France, blah, blah, blah.
Get drunk. Drink whatever they just poured without even knowing or asking what it is. Is it booze? Good enough for you!
Stink it up good. Be sure to wear plenty Axe Body Spray or that Jovan Musk for Men your grandma bought you for Christmas. Who wants to smell fermented grapes, anyway?