2008 Bodegas Borsao Tres Picos Garnacha – $16

Grenache is THE GRAPE of Côtes du Rhône and Châteauneuf-du-Pape – you know – the Rhone blends. It’s a grape that gets you lightly colored, soft yet FULL wines chock full of strawberry and raspberry. While not particularly rich or complex, Grenache is one of the world’s most widely-planted grapes, and it gives up a unique character wherever it’s planted.

Well, in the up-by-Rioja “Campo de Borja” region (no, not Victor Borge, he was the Great Dane, not the Great Spaniard) of Spain (well, all of Spain), it’s known as Garnacha. This one from Borsao’s Three Peaks (Tres Picos) is deep violet in the glass, insanely smoky in a good way – like someone lit a Cohiba full of black pepper and flowers dipped in Indian spices right next to you.

Taking a sip (or nibbling on Jillian Michael’s shoulders), you get awesome body in your mouth (apologies to Jillian, had to give Megan Fox a break). Blackberry, raspberry and strawberry give way to a long silky finish of cocoa. I have no doubt this thing would be $50 if it came from France and was called Grenache.

Drink by itself or with turkey chili or pork chops.

2007 Hey Mambo Red Blend – $10

No offense to Lee Meriwether or Eartha Kitt, but my “purrfect” Catwoman was Julie Newmar. Meowing in that leather outfit, she simply purred sultriness.

Just like this “Zorked“* wine! A blend of Syrah, Barbera, Zinfandel, Petite Sirah, Malbec, and Alicante Bouschet, she bills herself as the “Sultry Red” and has notes of Catwoman’s leather on the nose as well as dark fruit and tobacco.

And just like Julie back in the day, this wine is soft, silky, supple and intense. She stays with you for a long time after feeding you dark berries, cassis, black pepper and spices. She will intoxicate you as well with her 13.5% alcohol content.

Drink her in with some pizza, burgers, pasta or turkey chili.

*Zork: an alternative wine closure that seals like a screw cap and pops like a cork.